Resistance is futile...

Well...I'm now left playing the waiting game. I have to wait 2 weeks from now until I get to see Dave again, and then for Easter I'm going home to Denver...I'm excited to see my sister being a busy little worker bee at Little Cesar's... I'm getting so antsy, I just want the waiting to be over. I'm kinda scared of it to end too though because then what do I have to look forward to after May? :-p I've got a great life and I'm excited for Dave to be a major part of it again but once he's here, I'll have no countdown to stare at every day, no days to cross off on the 3+ calendars I have variously around where I am in a day. On the bright side though, I won't have to be upset when I come home because it won't be empty. I won't have to express my love through the phone or the webcam. My life will be fulfilled again and I will be happy. I can't wait for Dave to experience Milwaukee summer...he's going to absolutely love it. Summerfest, all the fests,the lake,swimming in the quarry, camping, the nights with music, the nights with movies, hanging out with friends, walks along the lake, enjoying warm nights together outside, sipping on a little sunshine (lol)...he's going to absolutely love it. Everything about Dave shouts "I need to experience Milwaukee in the summer!" Everything I did last summer I couldn't help but think about how much Dave would absolutely love what I was doing at the time. Of course, I do that a lot with pretty much everything...haha, but summer in Milwaukee is truly something Dave will love. I hope that he can experience it at least once. I know he's applying for jobs in Denver (because I told him it was ok) but now I'm kind of second guessing that because I don't want him to miss out on Milwaukee. I know Denver will be just as fun, it's still a city...and at least in Denver people like the winter...unlike in Wisconsin...but I know it will be different. I should really not be worried about things being different...I did move from Durango to Milwaukee and completely change everything around in my life within a 1 month period, but hey...change isn't always easy.
Well, that's enough for now. The sirens outside of my extremely hot apartment are reminding me that I've got to head to work. Ta-ta for now!

Adrift in a sea of loneliness

Well, the holidays are over and I am once again left feeling vapid. Life is so empty when everyone leaves after the holidays and this year it has been the worst. I hung out with family 5 days straight and slept over w/my sister 3 of those nights and then I came home that Tuesday morning and felt empty. Lost, alone, gone. All of the love that I had been surrounded by was gone. None remained. Normally I don't get that upset after the holidays but this year was different. Why you ask? Probably because my family is changing. My sister is going to college soon, she's touring schools and I can't be there to help her decide, my cousins are growing up, one is about to start school (kindergarten) and my uncles are so distant from not only each other but from me...because even though I live in the same state as 90% of my family (both sides), I am alone 90% of the time. In fact, of that 90%, 85% probably live within a couple hour drive. Sad, really. To know that you are so close to all of this love you wish you could constantly be a part of and yet be so alone you cuddle with a pillow at night just to feel comfort of some kind. That's another thing that is different about this year. I don't get to come home and see Dave after the holidays. I came home to an empty house and a hungry Betta fish named Edgar. My suggestion to you, if you want to feel like you mean nothing is to live alone. It is so hard to stay motivated and positive living on your own. I continue to try but it just gets harder. Sorry for being a downer, just typing whatever comes to my mind as fast as I can. I try to keep myself busy to keep my mind off of things and all I can think about is how much I can't wait to get back to the extremely stressful job that I have and 60% of the time don't enjoy because I am so stressed....just so I don't have to be alone for 24 hours. I want to go workout just so I can be around other people. I don't have any encounters with them but it still feels good to be around people. It makes you feel normal. Anyways, I'm going to leave it at that. I'm hoping to keep up with my blogging throughout at least the next 5 months since I feel like it helps me work through things. If you don't want to read, that's fine. I'll keep writing, it makes no difference to me.

I've got it up to here....

Well, it is finally Friday. I've been practicing guitar all week and I can actually see myself improving..awesome. Clearly my guitar teacher knows what I need to feel successful...haha! I absolutely love this time of the year. The snow, the cold weather, gloves, jackets, scarves, Thanksgiving, Christmas, all of it. I almost even like the later sunrise...the early sunset not so much but when you get up before the sun you feel accomplished! I like being able to successfully wake up in the morning so being up before the sun kind of accentuates that. :-) Life has been a whirlwind for me recently (like it ever isn't...). It's the end of the quarter so it's time for final grades and finals and all that fun stuff and on top of that, I am the Literacy Coach (and I've been having meetings) and I'm the PBIS (Positive Behavior Intervention and Supports) Facilitator/Lead and there's been a lot going on with that, and I'm in charge of getting a Prom pulled together, all sorts of wonderfully mundane stuff..It should be pretty cool to have a Prom under my belt though...and I plan on posting the pictures of the decorations on my cake decorating/party planning business website...maybe that will help make it succeed. Who knows.
I'm excited because I created a group on Facebook for the Chaparral High School, class of 2004 10 year reunion and it already has 84 members. That is a great start! :-) So, there's one more thing on the plate...haha, that probably won't be so bad though because we've got 5 years to plan that one out...:-p

Well, that's enough for now.
Until next time,
"And the days went by like paper in the wind. Everything changed, then changed again. It's hard to find a friend. It's hard to find a friend."
- Tom Petty

Unfinished business

Well, here I am....it's the senior English class' time to journal anything that comes to their mind, so I am using the time/opportunity to blog! It still hasn't snowed more than maybe an inch total....I think I need to move soon...I NEED snow. It sucks because just like 10 minutes from my house they probably have 5 inches. I thought that by living near the lake I'd get lake effect snow..turns out that doesn't always mean more...sad day. Well, it's December 10th...which means it's my 5 year and 2 monthiversary...pretty sweet. Things have been hectic around here with the end of the quarter coming up quickly..


5 min up...more to come later.

Almost mid-December

It has been so long that I have written a blog...6 months about...I decided it's that time once again. I never thought I would get into blogging..and I haven't. No surprise there. What is surprising however is that I kind of would like to be a blogging machine....think Julie and Julia. I just saw it and I feel like if I had something like that in my life I could make it through. I think I should try baking through my cake book or maybe I'll bake through all of my cookie recipes, I don't know....the only problem I have is that the ingredients will run me a lot of money more than likely...and I don't really like doing dishes at all. Well...maybe that goal should be later on in life (like when I have an amazing kitchen and a dishwasher..haha! Ok...so, here's my new thought on the subject of blogging for a cause. I will try to blog at least 3 times a week (totally doable...and healthy for the mind) about what is going on in school....no, that's not good...I need something I can blog about regularly that will keep me motivated in my life...what to do, what to do....

Please....

Give me ideas! Thanks, and until next time....

A wise man hears one word and understands two.
~Yiddish Proverb

The Kitten Very Late Night Experience

So, life's been crazy recently as many of you know already....but I have decided to add an element of spice to that mix. I have recently obtained an adorable kitten who just learned the value of my hand....meaning when I stick my hand out, she puts her head in it and runs her body along it...lol. And I thought she was gonna take a while to warm up to me...Well, I suppose it is 4 in the morning so I shouldn't be surprised...I have Teen Adventure Challenge in 3 hours and I have gotten probably about 3 hours of sleep...why you ask? Well, I woke up thinking "Damn... I stink!!!" Then, went back to bed. I woke up again a bit later and was like "Damn...I REAAALLY stink!!" It was then that I realized my adorable new kitten decided to take a nice little relief of the digestive tract in the one spot that everything on my bed would be affected. *sigh* So, now I have to do all of the laundry....yes ALL of it. And, probably buy new pillows and...get that UrineBGone Stuff....lol (if you're looking for a good laugh watch the video on the website...Is your dog a peeing machine??)..Yep, the joys of having a kitten. Well, at least we made a breakthrough with the petting. I feel like I can deal with pretty much anything with her now.